jordynface Things I like: WINNING.

jordynface Things I don’t like: LOSING

jordynface teh ac is now on. spelled the wrong on purpose.

jordynface also, bumper stickers that say to buckle up b/c it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you into space are cool by me.

jordynface dear twitter, i am your best friend. please let me continue tweeting. please. i’ll be good, i swear. love, me.

jordynface that tweet is a winner

jordynface my ipod is red because i didn’t want it to be orange.

jordynface my shirt is pink because it just is.

jordynface so yesterday becca was telling me she had a word stuck in her head and i was like, “what word?” and she was all, “cacophony.”

jordynface So I lost @tweet_fest. You should all be sorrowful for me.

jordynface Potentially awkward conversations are win?

jordynface I love it when I’m having potentially awkward online conversations with friends and they just disappear and I’m like WHAT! DID I OFFEND!?

jordynface Mayonnaise has two N’s? Who know? Not I!

jordynface The good news is there’s PROBABLY not a killer in our house.

jordynface Finished reading her chapter four and my sister said, “Okay.” That is not exactly a stellar response.

jordynface HOW DID SHE GUESS EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IN FOUR CHAPTERS? Not everything everything but… a good part of everything.

jordynface Also: my sister doesn’t like people who do a lot of heroin and keep knives in their back pocket

jordynface Sister: “I’m not joking, so don’t mistake me for a joke.”

jordynface Okay, now the PICTURES ARE TALKING. Hannah Montana is such a weird show.

jordynface Someone let me know if I like this show. Because it kinda seems like I do.

jordynface We are trying to do a Skype call with my dad. My sister says, “Tell him to call me and hang up on you.”

jordynface @originalist I don’t mind shows that talk about God a lot. I mind that this show does. Because this show is stupid.

jordynface Okay why is there a motorcycle in the kitchen? American Pregnant = fail

jordynface All my friends are crazy.

jordynface I like Montana again. No worries. Spat over. Now get me to AZ, stat.

jordynface The world is so weird. I mean people. People are so weird.

jordynface I’m like an old person.

jordynface Sending the most awkward email to an author EVER

jordynface I’m watching more Hannah Montana. WTH is wrong with me?

jordynface Hello four AM. We need to have a serious talk

jordynface Y’all should know my sister just suggested I eat a …. wait for it, wait for it… blenderized happy meal

jordynface So Brad lied about emailing me. Cousins are liars.

jordynface Names @killerbecca calls me: Jerkface, Dork, and Fruitcake. Feel the love, guys

jordynface Me: “Sometimes my voice gets very manly, I can’t help it.” Madi: “SOMETIMES?” Me: *grr*

jordynface @originalist Sometimes I feel like I’m 16 or something.

jordynface I love the burritos from the taco shop. They are delicious. Just saying

jordynface “I want root beer. I’m an alcoholic.” —thelovely.

jordynface WHO IS MY SISTER TALKING TO? DAD SAYS IT IS HER SECRET BOYFRIEND.

jordynface This girl in the Starbucks line is dancing to the music they’ve got playing. It’s really slow music & she’s dancing really fast

jordynface The guy at Starbucks just said he was going to “ponder the menu.” I think he is awesome now

jordynface The guy at the next table just took his shirt off in Starbucks. I have no idea why.

jordynface Holy heck. How can there be a heavy load on my school’s server at FOUR IN THE MORNING.

jordynface My mom said we need to talk about what kind of a “nighttime routine” I have so I don’t sleep so long. I told her I am not 5.

jordynface Oh, by the by… I don’t hate Zac Efron anymore.

jordynface @bahbahBECCA Ahh, I meant my school notebooks. Thank goodness. For a second I was like “nooo!!!”

jordynface Now I remember why I go to Starbucks to write. Otherwise my family has me do stuff for them. I should never go downstairs.

jordynface I accidentally started typing one word in the middle of another and got: awkwarwontd!

jordynface @bahbahBECCA HAHAHAH I REMEMBER THAT. my family stopped speaking to me. it was sad.

jordynface My dad told my mom that her pants looked “smokin’” and all I could think of is Smokin’ Oakin because I watch too much Hannah Montana

koriannespeaks Email from RealSimple: “Enter to win a $5,000 gift card to send your child back to school in style!” I HAVE NO CHILDREN REALSIMPLE

jordynface I’m so hungry I need food.

jordynface My mom: “I got you a little present. “Me: “yay!” Her: “you might not like it.

jordynface I am now going to make Waldo watch Star Trek with me

jordynface Ever get paranoid that someone’s avoiding you because as soon as you log onto Facebook they disappear? Yeah…

jordynface I think we should strive to have interesting tweets. I like interesting tweets. Hamburger.

jordynface WHEN I GO BACK I HAVE TESTS! TESTS! Time to panic, guys.

jordynface My mother thinks I am weird. Does your mother think you are weird too?

jordynface So I just walked into a wall. I should probably never take up drinking.

originalist fjdisk I can’t wait until I get to US Since 1877. Sorry, colonial period, but I’m tired of you right now :(

ingridmusic missing someone is almost as bad as not having anyone to miss

jordynface I realize I am using extra letters

jordynface The Lovely is an iPod thief. Just sayin’

jordynface So I just read that they’ll be playing Lizzie McGuire twice a week!!! *squee!*

jordynface My family is crazy, not kidding

jordynface Watching Bill Engvall. Obviously my tweets have degenerated to “what I’m watching on tv”. Sorry? Yes, I’m sorry

jordynface Abercrombie-bashing going on in this scene.

Bearkaz Took a jog this morning, did my yoga by the river. A random guy asked, “Are you preparing for something big?” I smile and say, “Just life.

koriannespeaks You ask, “Korianne have you been sitting here watching Wee Sing videos on YouTube for the past hour?” I answer, “Yes.” *hangs head in shame

originalist You know your class is too early when you are too tired to realize you’ve put on two different color flip flops.

jordynface WOW DID I SERIOUSLY JUST GET COMMENTS ON TUMBLR??

jordynface FRIG

jordynface I’m amazed at how my school’s search engine/card catalog works. Here’s to looking for a book on scifi and finding a book on Hinduism. Fail

jordynface THAT IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION

jordynface Acting is cancelled today. Do you know what that means? MORE TIME FOR WRITING!

jordynface I just spelled “soap” like “soup”. I think maybe I need food

jordynface It’s possible I found a corner in my house to write in for the next two hours. Woot

jordynface If I’m going to end up deleting this AND I KNOW I’M GOING TO END UP DELETING IT, why am I even writing it?

SteffiAnna @bahbahBECCA mt. everest was an amazing moment, i love you more than i can say

koriannespeaks Tom has told me on about 6 occasions now that it is a sin that I am not eating a slaw dog while in NC. I said I would if they have tofu

jordynface Well the studying has all but stopped and now I’m watching Monty Python. Productive.

jordynface My sister is annoying.

bahbahBECCA “It’s not that easy and they’re warm.” “That’s what she said.” *we were talking about milking cows btw

jordynface There is another adorable baby in the bucks, @bahbahBECCA

bahbahBECCA “My tummy hurts but the alcohol is so yummy.” “I haven’t gotten any of your tweets… I think my phone is being gay. Sucks.”

koriannespeaks Just so you know @bahbahBECCA & I are cool because we were both eating & watching Glee at the same time & didn’t know it

jordynface Having a friend in Germany is hard. Whenever I try to talk to her she’s either going to bed or doing fun exciting European stuff.

jordynface Apparently this is not possible. Sadness.

jordynface Oh also I had the word SORRY written on my arm when I went into Albie’s. So that’s lame

koriannespeaks Convo between me & Mom: “It hurts right here by my jaw.” ” That’s your glands. Hope they don’t fall off.” “WHAT?” “Just kidding.”

originalist YEAH MAPLE SUCK IT YOU CAN GO DIAF OKAY. I think I did it all incorrectly but that’s okay because I HATE IT WHAT

jordynface Doctor Who is trending. Trendface

jordynface By sleep I mean “at least pretend.”

jordynface So like I was saying… my bed is broke

jordynface Waldo has issues

koriannespeaks I have 555 followers. I fear the day it reaches 666.

koriannespeaks I am sort of disapointed. Purple highlighers are not as made of win as I thought.

ingridmusic sometimes the fact that i am just a skeleton under all this other stuff freaks me the f#ck out

koriannespeaks I am learning how to use tumblr. This could be a bad thing

koriannespeaks So who here has a tumblr? I want to follow you my friends!

koriannespeaks OMG I went outside to get the mail & I SWALLOWED A FLY! I AM THE OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY! *runs to get drink*

koriannespeaks On a lighter note when I vomitted up the fly EVERYONE in the neighborhood was walking their dog. How nice, so now they all KNOW I’m crazy

SteffiAnna I’m so embarrased to admit it, but I think I like Demi Lovato D:

koriannespeaks Lucky by Britney Spears just came on iTunes. Not gonna lie, I am jamming out. I liked old school BritBrit, so shoot me.

koriannespeaks ♫ If there’s nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night? ♫ Oh, Britney, you are so deep

jordynface All the songs I want to buy make me sad except one. That one makes me angry, but there’s a good story behind it.

AmazingAngeline fml. there a flying cockroach in my house and it was just on my foot and i now have mango juice all over my pants. it needs to die

AmazingAngeline whose bright idea was it to make cockroaches?! whoever it was needs to be shot, hung, and quartered. i hate the little monsters that much

AmazingAngeline btw i won the fight w/ the flying fucker. i threw a book on him & threw another one on top of that for good measure. the battle was epic

jordynface It’s seriously 11 o’clock? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

jordynface But their fake little webshow? WORST THING EVER.

koriannespeaks Kendall threw my clothes out of the washer again. I got her back by stealing a pair of socks.

koriannespeaks I am a rude guest. I have read the entire way to school while Jenny & Greg chattered in the front. I don’t even care. I’m a loner.

jordynface I love it when my friends are all “Comment!” One time my friend was like “why didn’t you reply to my comment?” I was like SORRY SIR. haha.

ingridmusic i want to inject a banana with chocolate and grill it then dip in in batter and deep fry it then curl up in the fetal position and cry.

ingridmusic if my name was Evelyn, i would hope to marry someone named Crabtree

jordynface Gah. I just want awesome.

jordynface Okay well maybe not like a madman. More like a slowdoofus

jordynface Hey @killerbecca remember when you made me give up my goal of being a teacher? Remember that? That was funny, huh? HHAHAHAHAHAA *not funny*

jordynface Okay that’s it, these Mentos are darn tempting. I must hid them from myself.

jordynface MY GRAND TOTAL IS 1,205 WORDS WRITTEN SINCE I GOT HERE. Now to exit stage right.

jordynface I really need food. I want ice cream, but I might have to settle for, um… BEANS.

Trisarahtops5 Just saw a sign that said ‘bacon for governor’ and was thoroughly amused

taylorswift13 In the studio. I don’t know whose computer I’m using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now..

jordynface Is it the 90s? Because that guy looks like he thinks it’s the 90s

jordynface EDWARD IS A CREEEPER

jordynface Insights! I haz em!

BessRogers Sometimes I have the strong urge to climb stuff. I wonder if that’s my inner monkey.

jordynface So I showed my sister #lolsi and asked her what she thinks and she said… (prepare yourselves)… “That was dumb.”

originalist We all got giant sundaes that were in martini glasses. I accidently tipped the glass over and broke it. *facepalm* Major lol.

jordynface Anna and Frankie’s names put together are like Anne Frank. I realize weird things

jordynface Okay seriously I am back now. Geez. Way to be invisible, self

jordynface And she was all, “maybe I shouldn’t take fashion advice from my sister” (aka me) and I was all, “you make me sad.

jordynface @koriannespeaks Oh wow that iS pro.

jordynface Sometimes I think I believe in other people so much more than they believe in themselves and I just want to say to them, “YOU ARE AMAZING.”

jordynface Seriously, how did Wednesday sneak up so sneakily? It’s already Tuesday! I have so much to do! Obviously Twitter is the best use of my time!

jordynface Well whatever. I’ll have to use a 42 and a 2. THE STAMP SAGA IS NEARLY OVER.

jordynface Hello I am back from the post office. There are always a lot of old people there and I can’t figure out why

jordynface So I think my picture looks like Madi. That’s what I think. I look like a thirteen year old. Nice

jordynface @abitheliotrope Golf is going on now. I mean not this second, but… *is dork*

jordynface But now to get cracking on TEH FAIRYTALE. C’mon, story, solve yourself. I don’t know of a way out that doesn’t seem like a cheat!!

jordynface murder is murder” “you would know.” I’M GOOD

jordynface Okay, must explode now.

jordynface @koriannespeaks Oh I saw that. I didn’t like it either. I was like “no” but they were like “we don’t even hear you.”

jordynface If I just switched to third person for one chapter that would be fine, right? Oh. It wouldn’t? DAGNABIT.

jordynface I am the onliest one awake. Derrr.

jordynface Apparently I have 156 favorites. That’s hilarious for some reason.

jordynface Me: ‘I’m gonna go play in the street.’ 3-yr old cousin: ‘Me too,’ Me: ‘Okay never mind, maybe I won’t play in the street.’

jordynface So apparently there’s a hazelnut shortage. I know things

jordynface My sister keeps showing me food in the Food Network magazine and I would like to eat it all. Nom nom nom.

jordynface Also: I don’t understand most of your @ replies to me because, um, I forget what most of them were in reference to.

jordynface *deletes current chapter* *has aneurism* *misspells*

jordynface @killerbecca Oh right. *is retarded* in that case I had some popcorn today - NOM NOM NOM!!!

jordynface I want to make pie. This is what Pushing Daisies has done to me.

jordynface Turns out I am much better at writing break ups than getting-back-togethers. Should this worry me?

jordynface Maybe we are on fire

jordynface @killerbecca YOU DO NOT THINK I AM A CRACKHEAD, DO YOU?

jordynface You know what’s great? EVERYTHING ABOUT PUSHING DAISIES.

jordynface My computer attacked me

jordynface I iz now muchly hungry

jordynface Hello. You are a porcupine.

jordynface @killerbecca We prefer the term “normal-challenged.”

jordynface Just saw some people I know here. I smiled at them but I don’t think they recognized me. So now I’m the crazy smiling girl. Great

jordynface “How’d you get up here?” “This magical thing we call walking. You might be familiar with it.”

jordynface It’s that thing in the wall again. It’s gonna kill us all.

jordynface I WANT TO WRITE A LOVE STORY SET IN A COFFEE SHOP. DUDE.

jordynface My sister called me. I answered and she was TALKING TO HERSELF. I guess I interrupted her conversation with herself.

jordynface “Smell is 80% of taste; I don’t want my noodles to taste like cake-flavored ice cream!” –me

jordynface I want some Nerds. The candy. Yummm.

jordynface “All the honies in my town will be so disappointed that my moneymaker’s been destroyed.” —guy barista after getting hit in face by door.

jordynface To clarify: I am not sitting ON my computer. I’m sitting on a chair

jordynface The writing is going weird today, folks

jordynface Brang is not a word? What? How have I always thought it was a word?

jordynface @killerbecca My sister just told my mom that you are a killer. I think my mom kind of believed her. ??

jordynface THAT THING IN THE WALL IS MAKING NOISES LIKE IT IS GOING TO COME OUT RIGHT NOW.

jordynface Am thinking I should move out of the room quickly. The ROUS might eat me.

jordynface Ahhhh my photobooth program is making me very angry with anger.

jordynface Hello porcupines. Is anyone but me wanting candyyy?

jordynface Everytime someone says MJ is dead then I feel like they’re talking about Maureen Johnson. Tres confusing.

jordynface When he says his book is “more adulter” what does that MEAAN?

jordynface Someone is going to pick up a ferret cage that is being sold on Craigslist. So that’s interesting.

jordynface Do you ever wonder where the phrase “happy trails” came from? I do

jordynface Now she is just sitting on the stairs looking sad. I know you are all spellbound about my cat’s surgery. That’s why I keep you informed!

jordynface @originalist I am now following the guy who plays Ben on American Pregnant. I am so win?

jordynface Piemaker is one words? Or two? They say two. I say whatever

jordynface I haz soups. One soup. Not plural. Just soup

jordynface @koriannespeaks Chicken dumpling. Yum. (*is not vegetarian*) It is working for my tummy, which is also wonky

jordynface My friend is like, “I wrote a review on yogurt!” And I’m like, “HOW FUNNY. I’M ACTUALLY EATING YOGURT RIGHT NOW!”

jordynface WOW THAT WAS A BORING TWEET. SORRY FOR BEING SO UNINTERESTING, GUYS… next time I’ll talk about spaceships or something

jordynface I just spelled “lbs” “lobs”. Win

jordynface Hello Twitterland. This is a PSA telling you to eat moar chiken, courtesty of the Chik-Fil-A cows. (I know, I know, I’m so funny.)

jordynface Love how the first thing I do when a friend tells me the name of their crush is COMMENT ON THE NAME

jordynface @killerbecca I think so. I was like, “Oh that’s a sturdy name!” WTH!! (The name was Brock, by the way.)

jordynface I really don’t want to get old and boring. I’m not kidding, I really don’t. Is there a way to not?

jordynface @killerbecca That’s an awesome dream! But I don’t think the prince has to run for king. Also, I have pixy stix

jordynface I just wondered to myself. I wondered, ‘hey, self, wonder if Boy Meets World’ is on Hulu. Am now on a mission

jordynface Oh hai. I haz a popcorn ball

jordynface Popcorn is so weird

jordynface @killerbecca Popcorn is my love

jordynface Hey, how come it’s 9,00000000000000000 degrees in my room?

jordynface I have now turned the fan on. Stay tuned for more super-interesting updates

jordynface I’m losing my chair. #importantnews

jordynface Word count bothers me. Does word count bother you? It bothers me.

jordynface This lady in Starbucks looks all fancy, is missing a tooth, and is scary skinny. Really

jordynface Who else thinks of April as a somewhat-chilly month? Just me? Okay then

jordynface The guy is loudly exclaiming, “They’re brokers! They’re brokers!” Dude. Got it

jordynface *tweets moar*

jordynface Red. I like the color red. Also sometimes I want to spell color with the O.